I used to roll my eyes at a friend of mine and her husband. Whenever they would drive somewhere he would open the car door for her before she got into the car. Being the "independent" woman that I thought I was, this always seemed a little chauvinistic. I mean, I can open my door myself, I don't need some man to do it for me. Now, I'm not saying that my friend's husband was doing this because he thought she was incapable of such things or that he is chauvinistic - I'd actually say that he is quite the opposite and very supportive of my friend - but it simply was not a practice I ever saw myself participating in. Basically, I thought it was cheesy to do it every time she got in the car, and while I love to eat cheese, I am not always a fan of watching it play out before me.
This gesture was something that I declared I would not want to be done for me all the time and I told Eddie just as much when we started talking last May. He responded that he thought it was weird that a guy wouldn't open the door of the car. So when we met in person for the first time and he opened the door for me it was weird. We laughed and joked about it but he continued to do it. Now it is normal practice and if he doesn't open the door (which happens on occasion) it's weird. I've started to take it for granted that he'll be there to open the door for me - even though I sometimes have to roll my eyes at how cheesy we are with each other.
I was thinking about this the other day when I read an article from Time magazine about violence against women in Afghanistan. The picture with the story shows a woman who had her nose and ears cut off by her husband because she ran away from him and his relatives, all of who beat her. The article goes on to talk about different instances of women being abused and mistreated and how the country has changed since the Taliban was taken out of power. One woman who grew up in Canada has returned and now has a talk show (in one place they said to think Oprah meets Hannah Montana). She had a guest who told a joke about a small Afghan town where a woman was seen walking in front of her husband down the street. This was odd because the Taliban required that women walk six steps behind their husbands. When the man in the joke was approached by foreign relief workers to be congratulated on his progressive thinking they were told that the area was a mine field so he forced his wife to walk in front of him.
Even though this story is a joke and isn't necessarily real, I have to wonder if it isn't based on reality in some way. I was left with chills as I finished the article and an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my husband. My husband opens doors for me. My husband walks between me and traffic. My husband doesn't want me taking the dog outside when it is dark out. My husband protects me and keeps me from harm - even when we both know I can take care of myself. He cares for me and loves me and would do anything for me. Even in his dreams this is true (last night he had a dream that I was bit by a zombie and he stayed with me and the rest of the zombies instead of going off to a safer area with the uninfected people). He is amazing and even after being married for only two months I take that for granted sometimes.
I was humbled after reading the Time article. There are such horrible things happening in the world and I should not diminish the things that are good. It may be cheesy when a guy opens a door for his wife or girlfriend and it may be ridiculous or seem old fashioned and chauvinistic of him to step in harms way to protect her but that is how it should be. I'm not just talking about men treating women well, but women treating men well - people in general treating other people well. Genuine love and kindness in the world can be a rare thing to find and it should be embraced - not mocked - when it is found. I worry about the world that my children will grow up in but am glad to know that their father will be there to set a good example for them even if I do roll my eyes on occasion.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
A Project
I have decided that I need a new project. Last year my project was preparing for Europe (and then going to Europe). Before that it was watching all the AFI and Best Picture movies. Projects this year have been wedding planning and job searching - both of which were/are necessary and only one of which was fun. Now that things are starting to settle down (a little bit at least) after the wedding I have realized that I need to find something to occupy my time while Eddie is doing his school work or out hiking and nearly killing himself doing some extreme activity.
Most likely I will continue watching quality films as time goes on, but probably not with as much gusto as I have in the past. I will also continue to dream about my next trip to Europe, but knowing that it is quite far off in the future makes the dream a little less exciting. I plan to try and get back into a work-out routine to drop the excess weight I have gained since June 5 (it has been a glorious two months of not caring, but my waistline needs to stop growing or my clothes will stop fitting soon) - but let's be honest, working out is not something that I EVER will enjoy.
There are some craft projects that I want to get to and a lot of home decorating that needs to occur, but my big goal is to experiment with different recipes and find new, fun, and healthy things to make. I went through a bunch of cook books this weekend and flagged some recipes to try. Eddie and I have been making a food plan for the month and are planning to try and stick to it - to save money and eat out less but also to plan our shopping lists to avoid unnecessary purchases. I'm excited to try some different things and hope to document some of them here and share - at least the good ones.
I guess the project is really about making me more domestic. Hmm ... we'll see how it goes. :-\
Most likely I will continue watching quality films as time goes on, but probably not with as much gusto as I have in the past. I will also continue to dream about my next trip to Europe, but knowing that it is quite far off in the future makes the dream a little less exciting. I plan to try and get back into a work-out routine to drop the excess weight I have gained since June 5 (it has been a glorious two months of not caring, but my waistline needs to stop growing or my clothes will stop fitting soon) - but let's be honest, working out is not something that I EVER will enjoy.
There are some craft projects that I want to get to and a lot of home decorating that needs to occur, but my big goal is to experiment with different recipes and find new, fun, and healthy things to make. I went through a bunch of cook books this weekend and flagged some recipes to try. Eddie and I have been making a food plan for the month and are planning to try and stick to it - to save money and eat out less but also to plan our shopping lists to avoid unnecessary purchases. I'm excited to try some different things and hope to document some of them here and share - at least the good ones.
I guess the project is really about making me more domestic. Hmm ... we'll see how it goes. :-\
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Downside of Travel
After returning from my overseas adventure my focus shifted to the holiday season and planning the wedding. In my "spare" time I also applied for jobs and was fortunate enough to have some connections that allowed me to be hired temporarily. It wasn't (isn't) a glamorous job and not something I anticipate wanting to do long term (in fact I will be finished with the position at the end of August) but it was something to help pay the bills and easy enough that I could sneak in a few wedding planning details between projects.
Well, now that wedding has come and gone I find myself wondering what to do (again) with my life. I am thoroughly enjoying being married to Eddie (as discussed in the last post) and there is plenty for us to do at home to continue to get settled into our apartment but the 32 hours that I work each week and quickly becoming painful. I know 32 hours is not a lot and that I should be grateful to have work (which I am), but it's hard to know that I'm putting so much time into something that I'm not passionate about.
I think back to a year ago and realized that this week in 2009 is the same week that I gave my notice at work and told Eddie that I loved him for the first time. It was an epic week to be certain. What can I say about this week 2010? I burned my finger pulling cookies out of the oven and Eddie and I bought a dresser for our apartment. Not quite so awesome. July 2009-June 2010 was probably one of the most significant years of my life - I don't know if it can be topped - and it's hard to go from the amazingness of that year to the "nothing" that is scheduled until who knows when.
This isn't a complaint, though I realize it may sound like it is, and I know the advantages I have been given set me up to live better than a significant part of the world. I just have to be real with where I am and what I'm feeling, and this is it right now. It's been a roller coaster of emotion lately (poor Eddie) as I try to process what is in store for me next and look for the next missing piece of the puzzle that is life.
I don't know if it's just the desire to escape or something else, but what I keep coming back to is leaving and getting back on the road and seeing things, experiencing life, and exploring the world. There are so many things I want to do and places I want to see and visit and I want to share it with someone. I didn't get to do that last time around and the next time I travel I want a companion. I want the freedom and money to travel with Eddie.
Can someone find me a job where I get to do this?
Please?
Well, now that wedding has come and gone I find myself wondering what to do (again) with my life. I am thoroughly enjoying being married to Eddie (as discussed in the last post) and there is plenty for us to do at home to continue to get settled into our apartment but the 32 hours that I work each week and quickly becoming painful. I know 32 hours is not a lot and that I should be grateful to have work (which I am), but it's hard to know that I'm putting so much time into something that I'm not passionate about.
I think back to a year ago and realized that this week in 2009 is the same week that I gave my notice at work and told Eddie that I loved him for the first time. It was an epic week to be certain. What can I say about this week 2010? I burned my finger pulling cookies out of the oven and Eddie and I bought a dresser for our apartment. Not quite so awesome. July 2009-June 2010 was probably one of the most significant years of my life - I don't know if it can be topped - and it's hard to go from the amazingness of that year to the "nothing" that is scheduled until who knows when.
This isn't a complaint, though I realize it may sound like it is, and I know the advantages I have been given set me up to live better than a significant part of the world. I just have to be real with where I am and what I'm feeling, and this is it right now. It's been a roller coaster of emotion lately (poor Eddie) as I try to process what is in store for me next and look for the next missing piece of the puzzle that is life.
Do I take a job because it is a job and I need money even though I know I wont be happy?
Do I pursue jobs at SPU? Is that a good place for me to be or is it just "easy?"
Should I go back to school and get my masters?
What do I even want to do?
I don't know if it's just the desire to escape or something else, but what I keep coming back to is leaving and getting back on the road and seeing things, experiencing life, and exploring the world. There are so many things I want to do and places I want to see and visit and I want to share it with someone. I didn't get to do that last time around and the next time I travel I want a companion. I want the freedom and money to travel with Eddie.
Can someone find me a job where I get to do this?
Please?
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Long Weekend
I’ve been married a month now, and it’s been lovely. Not only is Eddie is a wonderful person, he’s an even better husband. He is quite charming and loving and continues to supplying me with delicious treats – even though they are making my pants tighter. We have enjoyed our first month together in our little apartment. It’s starting to become a bit cozier as we unpack and put things away. It seems to be a never-ending battle at times though.
This last weekend was wonderful. Eddie and I both had four days off and got to spend them together. Thursday night we went salsa dancing in Pioneer Square with my cousin Katie and learned a few moves. It was a lot of fun and we each got to dance with some “interesting” characters. My two personal “favorites” were the toothless, cross-eyed, potentially homeless man who didn’t even try to follow the steps, and the overly eager man in a Canadian tuxedo (wearing denim from head to toe – actually his pants were too short so it wasn’t quite down to his toes) who also had one white nose hair growing out of each nostril. The latter of these two men saw me later in the night and felt the need to frantically wave from across the park. Apparently we are BFF’s now. Afterwards my cousin Jeremy met up with us and we hit up a few bars. It was way too much fun.
Eddie and I spent Friday enjoying doing nothing. We actually slept a good portion of the day and got “caught up” since we have been going-going-going since before the wedding! It was the first day where we didn’t have to do anything. Didn’t have to get up for work or church, didn’t have to meet up with anyone, and didn’t have to run any errands. It was a truly lazy day and we loved it. We did end up going north to Seattle in the evening to meet up with Ben and Joanne (Eddie’s sister and brother-in-law) who moved up her from Vegas early last week. We tried out the taco truck in Wallingford which turned out to be delicious, and then drank a few beers out of mason jars at Al’s Tavern. We then moved on to the Tin Hat where we had a few more beers and just enjoyed hanging out!
Saturday was another rather lazy day. We did make it to the bank and tried to take care of some lingering financial stuff that we have going on, but didn’t get terribly far. We attempted to make sushi that night as well, but it didn’t go as well as we’d hoped. We had a late start with the rice and then were anxious to get the show on the road and I don’t think it cooked quite long enough. We will make another attempt at some point I am sure. We ended up playing Mario Kart Wii which was really fun.
Sunday we actually rolled some of the sushi – it was a bit mushy but turned out ok – and watched a few movies. It was another lazy day – but we did manage to make it to church for the 5 o’clock service and then headed over to Ben and Joanne’s for some Tijuana hot dogs (for those of you who are ignorant like I was, it’s a bacon wrapped hot dog) and beer before we walked over to the Fremont bridge to watch the firework show. It was a lot of fun and we ended up running into my friends, Jamie and Elizabeth, and seeing my cousin Jeremy.
Yesterday Eddie and I had intended to go hiking, but a late morning and a delayed start prevented us from such accomplishments. It was our one month anniversary and so we decided to use a gift card from the wedding for dinner. First we did a bit of shopping and finally purchased a dresser for our bedroom – hopefully this will help get us a bit more organized – which we get to pick-up today. We went to dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory – not our favorite place in the world – and had an enjoyable dinner. I will have to say that their cheesy bread appetizer is amazing. It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever had at that restaurant. We then went to Red Box and picked up a movie. I made myself a few mojitos and we finished off the last of our cookie dough while we watched the movie.
All in all – it was a wonderful weekend and just what we needed. Unfortunately it’s now Tuesday and we are back at work. I guess the bills need to be paid so we’re thankful to have income of some kind, I am still holding out for lottery winnings so I can have a few more lazy days in my life.
This last weekend was wonderful. Eddie and I both had four days off and got to spend them together. Thursday night we went salsa dancing in Pioneer Square with my cousin Katie and learned a few moves. It was a lot of fun and we each got to dance with some “interesting” characters. My two personal “favorites” were the toothless, cross-eyed, potentially homeless man who didn’t even try to follow the steps, and the overly eager man in a Canadian tuxedo (wearing denim from head to toe – actually his pants were too short so it wasn’t quite down to his toes) who also had one white nose hair growing out of each nostril. The latter of these two men saw me later in the night and felt the need to frantically wave from across the park. Apparently we are BFF’s now. Afterwards my cousin Jeremy met up with us and we hit up a few bars. It was way too much fun.
Eddie and I spent Friday enjoying doing nothing. We actually slept a good portion of the day and got “caught up” since we have been going-going-going since before the wedding! It was the first day where we didn’t have to do anything. Didn’t have to get up for work or church, didn’t have to meet up with anyone, and didn’t have to run any errands. It was a truly lazy day and we loved it. We did end up going north to Seattle in the evening to meet up with Ben and Joanne (Eddie’s sister and brother-in-law) who moved up her from Vegas early last week. We tried out the taco truck in Wallingford which turned out to be delicious, and then drank a few beers out of mason jars at Al’s Tavern. We then moved on to the Tin Hat where we had a few more beers and just enjoyed hanging out!
Saturday was another rather lazy day. We did make it to the bank and tried to take care of some lingering financial stuff that we have going on, but didn’t get terribly far. We attempted to make sushi that night as well, but it didn’t go as well as we’d hoped. We had a late start with the rice and then were anxious to get the show on the road and I don’t think it cooked quite long enough. We will make another attempt at some point I am sure. We ended up playing Mario Kart Wii which was really fun.
Sunday we actually rolled some of the sushi – it was a bit mushy but turned out ok – and watched a few movies. It was another lazy day – but we did manage to make it to church for the 5 o’clock service and then headed over to Ben and Joanne’s for some Tijuana hot dogs (for those of you who are ignorant like I was, it’s a bacon wrapped hot dog) and beer before we walked over to the Fremont bridge to watch the firework show. It was a lot of fun and we ended up running into my friends, Jamie and Elizabeth, and seeing my cousin Jeremy.
Yesterday Eddie and I had intended to go hiking, but a late morning and a delayed start prevented us from such accomplishments. It was our one month anniversary and so we decided to use a gift card from the wedding for dinner. First we did a bit of shopping and finally purchased a dresser for our bedroom – hopefully this will help get us a bit more organized – which we get to pick-up today. We went to dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory – not our favorite place in the world – and had an enjoyable dinner. I will have to say that their cheesy bread appetizer is amazing. It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever had at that restaurant. We then went to Red Box and picked up a movie. I made myself a few mojitos and we finished off the last of our cookie dough while we watched the movie.
All in all – it was a wonderful weekend and just what we needed. Unfortunately it’s now Tuesday and we are back at work. I guess the bills need to be paid so we’re thankful to have income of some kind, I am still holding out for lottery winnings so I can have a few more lazy days in my life.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Swimming
I started swimming again on Monday. I haven't been in a pool since at least February, but I think it was actually more like January (can't remember now). It was great to get back into the water and get a great work out. Unfortunately my lapse of time in the water has decreased my speed and endurance, but I am determined to keep it up!
My original motivation was to help me lose a few pounds before the wedding, but a friend pointed me toward the speedo website and now I am swimming with a greater purpose. To help stop Malaria! You can find my swim page at http://www.WorldSwimAgainstMalaria.com/ann and even contribute to the cause through my page!
I'm planning to do 25km between now and June 25. It's about 15.5 miles and at my current pace it's something like 11 hours in the pool - totally doable. I would have set my goal higher but who knows how much time I'll have in the next two weeks (since I'm getting married and all) and I didn't want to shoot myself in the foot! I can always increase my goal though. :) I may try to do an extra long swim on June 25 since it's the final day and all, but I don't know yet - I'll keep you posted of course!
My original motivation was to help me lose a few pounds before the wedding, but a friend pointed me toward the speedo website and now I am swimming with a greater purpose. To help stop Malaria! You can find my swim page at http://www.WorldSwimAgainstMalaria.com/ann and even contribute to the cause through my page!
I'm planning to do 25km between now and June 25. It's about 15.5 miles and at my current pace it's something like 11 hours in the pool - totally doable. I would have set my goal higher but who knows how much time I'll have in the next two weeks (since I'm getting married and all) and I didn't want to shoot myself in the foot! I can always increase my goal though. :) I may try to do an extra long swim on June 25 since it's the final day and all, but I don't know yet - I'll keep you posted of course!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Disoriented
I woke up this morning convinced that it was Friday. I'm not too far from the truth on that since I am taking tomorrow and Friday off, but it is in fact Wednesday not Friday. Yesterday I told someone it was Wednesday, Monday felt like Tuesday, and Sunday felt like Saturday. My days are all wacky right now and I'm not sure why. Too much exercise maybe? :)
Things are moving along for the wedding. We're 3 1/2 weeks away from the "I Do's" and there is still quite a bit to do. I'm not really stressed about it though, I know it'll all get done and I am taking a 5-day weekend starting tomorrow to tackle the few remaining big list items. On the agenda are centerpieces, ceremony programs, chairs, and linens. It should be a productive weekend.
Amidst all of the wedding planning I have been working part time at the Security office at SPU in a temp position. I can stay at SPU through the end of the summer, but it'd be great to have a full time job with benefits so I have been applying for various other jobs too. Hopefully something will come through sooner rather than later, but we'll see.
My job search has brought up a lot of questions for me regarding what it is that I really want to do with my life. On one hand I'd like to get into a position that I could see myself doing long term and has potential for advancement. On the other hand I need a job to support Eddie and I. I don't want to settle for just anything, but I don't know how far I should push pursuing something I'm more passionate about, especially when the pay is unlikely to hit the mark that I need. I stressed myself out about it last week. Eddie was (of course) really supportive of me and the situation, but it didn't really provide me with a lot of answers. I just don't think I've ever been a big fan of transition. Change I am good with because I am doing something or something is happening, but transition involves a lot of waiting and I am not usually in control. It's much more stressful!
In other news, I am planning to start writing down stories from my Europe trip and life in general. I realized that a lot of the blogging I did overseas was direct, "this is what I did today" information. I don't want to forget all my stories and adventures that I had! I may post some of them here so get excited. :)
Things are moving along for the wedding. We're 3 1/2 weeks away from the "I Do's" and there is still quite a bit to do. I'm not really stressed about it though, I know it'll all get done and I am taking a 5-day weekend starting tomorrow to tackle the few remaining big list items. On the agenda are centerpieces, ceremony programs, chairs, and linens. It should be a productive weekend.
Amidst all of the wedding planning I have been working part time at the Security office at SPU in a temp position. I can stay at SPU through the end of the summer, but it'd be great to have a full time job with benefits so I have been applying for various other jobs too. Hopefully something will come through sooner rather than later, but we'll see.
My job search has brought up a lot of questions for me regarding what it is that I really want to do with my life. On one hand I'd like to get into a position that I could see myself doing long term and has potential for advancement. On the other hand I need a job to support Eddie and I. I don't want to settle for just anything, but I don't know how far I should push pursuing something I'm more passionate about, especially when the pay is unlikely to hit the mark that I need. I stressed myself out about it last week. Eddie was (of course) really supportive of me and the situation, but it didn't really provide me with a lot of answers. I just don't think I've ever been a big fan of transition. Change I am good with because I am doing something or something is happening, but transition involves a lot of waiting and I am not usually in control. It's much more stressful!
In other news, I am planning to start writing down stories from my Europe trip and life in general. I realized that a lot of the blogging I did overseas was direct, "this is what I did today" information. I don't want to forget all my stories and adventures that I had! I may post some of them here so get excited. :)
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