Extrovert

I think I’m more of an extrovert than I realized. It’s funny because I remember taking a quiz in middle school and it telling me that I was an introvert and being really angry because I wanted to be extroverted. In high school I took a quiz and it said I was extroverted and that made me happy. In college I took the test and was introverted, but was finally at peace with the concept realizing that introversion didn’t mean I was anti-social, I just internally processed things. Well I’ve taken the Myers Briggs test again recently and to my surprise I came out as an extrovert. I’ve learned over the years that I sit on the cusp of introvert/extrovert and I never really know which one I’m going to be.

I had a really hard time falling asleep last night – I literally laid in bed for over 2 ½ hours! As I was lying there trying to think of ways to trick myself into sleeping (counting sheep, listening to music, watching TV, lying in darkness and complete silence, etc) my mind started to reflect on why I wasn’t able to sleep. Was it the little bit of a cold that was stuffing me up? Was it because I was too hot or too cold? Did I have too much on my mind? Probably all were true, but what I landed on was that I hadn’t talked to anyone about my day. I hadn’t debriefed with anyone and it so everything was all cooped up in my head still.

This is when it hit me – I really am an extrovert. As much as I like to be alone and I like to process things on my own, I have to externalize things. I have to share them with others and know that I’m being heard. This of course made me decide that it would have been perfect timing for me to have a husband simply for the fact that I could then roll over and poke him and make him listen to me debrief my day so that I could fall asleep – because yes, I know that’s what husbands are for.

I’ve always known that I can talk and talk and talk and talk. Anyone who has met me should be able to easily determine this. I like to share and I’m very open with people. I always just thought it was me being friendly or whatever, but I realized last night it’s my extroversion. Of course this makes me sound completely selfish and self absorbed. I promise that I do like to listen to other people and I enjoy hearing about their days and lives as well. It’s not all about me, it’s reciprocal.

Being in Europe I realized is going to be hard for me because I won’t be around anyone that I know well. Yes, I am planning to blog and to skype with people, but it’s not the same as being there having that face to face conversation. I think it’ll be good for me though, and it’s not like I’m going to be gone for a year anymore. I will survive and I’ll probably learn some new things about myself. Maybe I’ll fluctuate to the introverted side of my personality again and it’ll be perfect. Or, I’ll be a full fledged extrovert and never be able to fall asleep. :)