Monday, June 15, 2009

Life Lessons

At the suggestion of a good friend, I visited a Bethany Community Church on Sunday instead of going to my usual service at UPC. I found myself really engaged in the message, more so than I have been lately at UPC. The pastor was preaching on the book of Nahum - not one you hear a lot about - and the larger picture of what that part of scripture conveys. The foundation of his message rested on the idea that God is working in our lives daily. Life is not a closed system with God on the outside just watching what happens to us. Instead God is present in our lives and tells us what we need to hear. Not only does he communicate with us, but he also listens to our requests and can act in our behalf.

In this particular message the point was focused on God correcting sin in our lives. He points it out to us - even when it's not what we want to hear - and offers to remove it for us. We can choose to listen to His diagnosis and allow Him to do his thing - or we can choose to go about our business as usual and bigger warnings may follow and soon it may be too late. The ultimate question then becomes "are you teachable or are you defensive?"

I want to be teachable - and I think that I am - but I know there are times in my life when the walls go up, even between God and myself. I can be defensive and make up all kinds of excuses for my actions, many of which I continue to believe are 100% justifiable, but my resistant attitude usually ends up changing anyway, no matter how much I try not to. Change, I have found, is inevitable. Even by resisting change, you are altered in some way. You can't help but adapt and it's completely ironic how it can all happen.

I think I've been changing a lot lately and that God has been showing me areas of my life where I need to make some alterations. I have had opinions and attitudes that have come back to haunt me as if God has held a mirror to my face and asked me to judge myself. I have learned, I have grown, and I think that I can see the beginning of change.

I do not know what the future holds for me and I am coming to terms with that (especially since I am the one who pushed myself in it all). There is adventure and excitement in the unknown but also confusion and fear. I am learning to once again trust God and let him take control. I know he has my best interest in mind and even though I may be resistant to his plan, it has worked out pretty well for me so far, so why stop trusting it now?

Maybe it is a good thing that I do not know what to expect out of the next six months. I have found that expectations aren't always what they're cracked up to be. The simplest spur of the moment decision can change your life forever. Something can turn into nothing and (as often happens in my life) nothing turns into something big. I pray that God continues to teach me, shape me, and guide me into the person He desires me to be. I hope to be teachable.

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