Officially Unemployed

I had my last day at SPU today. That's kind of weird to say. I've been at SPU almost every day for the last seven years (four years as a student and three as an employee) and now that it's over, I can't decide if I'm sad it's over or excited to move on. Perhaps a little of both?

It's funny because I remember at the end of every school year I had this sinking feeling when I left campus. It was as if the whole event was very anti-climatic and no one really seemed to care that we were parting ways for the summer. I hated leaving each year and always tried to stay on campus as long as I could. Today was different though. Maybe it's because I was taken out for lunch or received a "goodbye" card, or perhaps my outlook on the next phase of my life is different.

Whenever I would leave school there was always this "unknown" out there. I didn't know what I would be doing during the summer (or with my life after senior year) and even though there would always be some plans of some sort, there was nothing ever big and vast waiting out there for me in the distance. This next phase of my life is big and right around the corner. I leave in one week and I have so much to do, it's not even funny. I thrive in the chaos of life, so I'm not really concerned, but it is daunting.

When I left college each year I wasn't ready for that time to be over. Every year I wanted more time. It was like summer camp, I wanted just one more day or one more week, but I couldn't have it. Maybe leaving SPU as an employee is different because it was on my terms. I picked my departure date and I decided when I was ready to leave. They also wanted me to stay, which is a nice feeling. I left on good terms and I did my job well all the way to the end. It's an accomplishment I can be proud of.

It's true that I don't know what I'll do in December (realistically January) when I'm back, but I know now what I am capable of and worth. I will have an awesome experience under my belt along with three years of stellar service at SPU. I'll be ready to go when the time gets here and in the mean time, I will enjoy the ride. My four months "off" wont be completely stress free and wont exactly be the relaxing vacation I know everyone thinks it will be, but it will be fantastic.

Maybe that's what makes this transition easy. I'm basically going from one form of fantastic to another. Life could be so much worse.